Some believe that the state archives full of secrets, which the authorities are hiding from the public. If it were so! Often the archives are full of nonsense that and read something boring. But among them there are the pearls, and if not good, then at least funny. But see for yourself that can be found in the regular archives of most usual city of Kuibyshev.

When in 1986 I was in graduate school of the University of the city of Kuibyshev (now Samara), then I had to work in located in the city archives, so knew them all. But once I hit another archive, which until then had heard nothing. It was called strange: the Archive of technical documentation.

Of course, I got to his leadership. I was told that it stores data about all abandoned inventions for many years and that the Japanese, for example, suggested to the Soviet government for him a lot of money, but... we did like the dog in the manger: them or us. "We are not the" because to get into it almost impossible: permission is granted from Moscow, and the archive because something is here, in Kuibyshev. As for foreigners, this city was closed altogether!

However, for me it's doors opened, and they in turn went "double bookkeeping" - some information I was making in the official workbook, and others - on a piece of paper in his pocket. By the way, notebook I archive workers regularly checked: how would I what secret they did not "away".

And so, I started working in the archive, one in enormous light hall with capacity of at least 20 people - and could not believe his eyes! Yes, in his folders are piled mountains of stupidity, but all this is our history, mind games, evidence from the period. And among Perlov obvious idiots, were completely brilliant insights!

So, a Century Lukin in 1928 offered "Shouket", which according to him, meant "Skorohodova two-wheeled Tanga". Much to her King-tank Lebedenko, wheel diameter which amounted to 9 meters: here diameter expected more - 12 meters! The car was depicted in detail on the outside at different angles. But the scheme of its internal structure, as well as all required calculations, was completely absent, which is not surprising. The applicant, it was clear from his letters, was expelled from the Leningrad technological Institute for academic failure. All of his free food and sleep while he, in his words, dedicated to the development of the "Shouket".

And in 1927 Century Mayer designed "movable shield to protect against gun and other bullets" - two hollow cylinder of a man's height, between which had to sit fighter, armed with a machine gun. The rear of the unit supported the two roller rink, and moved him forward himself the red army, stepping foot on the clips on the inside of the cylinder. However, the original scheme of the author does not give an accurate view of how all the same had to go it shield"...

Similarly (i.e. I don't know how) acted and collapsible quintuple "contstant" F. Borodachova, who was driving the enemy sitting inside fighters clinging hands for staples on its inner surface. Brakes served retractable blade stops. The main advantage of its "Brokeback", the author considered the cheapness and assured that in the battle it will not give a full tank! Although guns are for some reason not painted.

If Twoness Century Lukin laid his main hope for the monstrous size of their "Tanguy," a Century Nalbandov in the 1930s developed the project "lilliput," single wedgies, DGG driver-gunner was placed in the supine position. In the application materials were available calculations, apparently with academic problems, the author did not arise.

But he did not realize that the machine height of only 70 centimeters almost unable to overcome the vertical obstacles, armor covering chassis almost to the ground, would interfere with the movement, but to go and shoot inconvenient. Not surprisingly, this project was rejected, regardless even as provided in the designer the opportunity to fire on the aircraft.

But that's not all. In the 1920-ies the unfortunate patent attorneys had to deal with the various anti-tank devices.

Say, Demidov has applied for "the device for drilling of walls armored cars with subsequent start S". He is a reactive charge with "sticky " head and three... mustache wire"equipped with the gas-cutting. Glued to the tank, device" was to burn a hole in it and inject into a toxic substance.

In the late 1920-ies F. Khlystov offered "penomet" is the device saleplays special foam vision devices of the enemy armored vehicles. It is interesting that in 1988 a similar application was filed by the inventor in Germany. One more then the proposal (also duplicated in Germany in 1989 year) - shell tanks tanks with liquid nitrogen: the last, they say, steaming, will create around the tank gas cloud such concentration that the engine will choke and will stop working. Both authors (and our German) 't thought through two questions: what is to prevent the crew to start the engine when the cloud dissipates, and what will be required gas concentrations to a moving tank would be able to slip it on the way?

To separate the wheat from the chaff in this monstrous flow of information was not so easy. Imagine how would you react, having to assess the application Ya Chibrikova, offer a shell with a proud name "defence of the USSR"? According to the description, the last "departing from guns gets on special trolley on wheels and makes her flight to the destination, where rides her on the battlefield, damaging the trenches and wire fences, after which undermined".

Expert, probably just killed the author of the question: why he believes that the missile will fly wheels down? This would be their correspondence and broke...